Dear Diary 16th August 2014

It's been quite a productive day, well not really, wasn't supposed to be at work today but I really didn't fancy staing at home again with the little ones. Both of them seem to have the devil in side them and with michaels bad temper I thought best to get out while I could.

Got to work and as per usual all I wanted to do was just get started on my jobs (vacuuming, wiping sides down, cleaning the glass and insides of the kitchen units and then start on the admin bits). And the chatting started, didn't get much done but never mind. Gave me time to think bout me and my family. 

I find my self thinking of Amelia more often these days. No idea why, especially as when growing up she was a complete cow. Well not a complete cow really, she only started acting up the older she got when she knew how to play the game between her mother and both Michael and I. At one point she said that I was more of a mother to her than her biological parent. This scares the shit out of me, it wasn't really to become a mum at such of a young age, I will continue another day 

Dear diary

15th august 2014, I would like to apologies I have not writing for a while, with all that has been happening I feel I should get a motion camera and have it placed above my head so as to capture every moment even the tragic ones. 

I have been poked and prodded x-rayed and examined, and finally the agree I'm not nuts and don't need to see the physiatrist. I thought I was going mad, my memory has never been the best but over the last couple of years I have resembled a 90 year old geriatric including the rigger. Not been fun, the pain in my head is not a tumour only that of a "tension head ache", and the stiff swelling and painful joints are not arthritis either, apparently with all my health fuck ups I have something called fibromyalgia. Wow that's a lot better than saying I'm really a geriatric posing as a 36 year old woman.

I've stopped winging now and I only was posting tonight purely as I have just watched "about time" and I found this movie exceptional and quite moving. I would hate to lose my dad but I would hate it more to lose my children. Life is what we make of it and what with all my health problems my love and support from my family is what that keeps me moving.

I love you all, and I will post something a little better next time, and I promise not to leave it as long this time.

December 21st 2011

Well I have been wondering what next to write in my tale of love wonder and surprise, thought as it was coming up to Christmas I'd tell you about my first Christmas with my first love.... And his daughter.
This was going to be the best I had planned exciting presents and there where parties a-plenty. I had bought him jean Paul after shave and deodoriser stick, cause you have to have the same smells or it smells funny and you can't not have BO basher on cause that's just wrong. I also got him gorges jeans and a shirt. It was then he said that he was having his daughter after Christmas, so wanting to try and be the dutiful girlfriend I set out to but her a little buggy and a teddy cuz he said she didn't do dolls (what!) and he got her some videos, basically because there wasn't much room in our one bedroom flat.
Christmas was a hit, he looked great I can't remember exactly what he got me but I can remember a bottle of southern comfort which would have been real nice if I hadn't of got so plastered on it the night before and then was sick on it.... Not cool! Bad head!

D day was here I drove to her house and stayed in the car, no way was I going to meet the ex!! She was small and had a runny nose. I don't know who was most scared. We arrived home and got into the house, thinking it would be then she would go nuts about her presents but nothing, you heard it NOTHING! This poor thing just had no emotion. I didn't know what to do.

IT SUCKED!!!!!!
I could only hope that the future would work, but was there a future? I not only had to commit to him but her and the meddling ex yipee. I know sarcasm is a poor form of whit but this is what I had, shit! He cooked was great in bed, could make me sing higher than no man has ever done before, and he danced, BAGAGE! What to do

Well what could I do, make the most of the time I suppose. Who would have thought my life would become sooooo difficult

Anywho you know it works out so keep on viewing my blogg for further updates

Hello and Welcome Diary 2011 May 30th

Dear Diary how original,

Well this weekend has been quite good, he worked Saturday then went to the pub, but yesterday I got to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4. OOO how did I enjoy. There is still however that faint ache in my head. I cannot begin to explain, but I suppose I would have to as this is a new diary Duh!.



Well approximately 12 years ago after going through a horrendous break up with an abusive ex (that’s another story) I was out with my brother sister-in-law and their friend Kent. To the local cattle market aka Phlamingos, although I chose not to drink the night was great the music was loud and people generally behaved. I was dancing on the dance floor with my sister-in-law to some criminal piece of music, when this guy caught my eye. He was off his head, bright orange shirt stripy trousers and pixie boots. I don’t mean he was drunk but was dancing like a loon, he didn’t care. He made me smile and we just seemed to move closer and suddenly found ourselves in a gripping conversation whilst dancing. This is where I found out that he could move Real Good!! Uh ha! Dirty dancing, eat your heart out. What a shocker. He asked if he could buy me a drink I accepted and shocked him with a coke request. We spoke some more and eventually it happened. He kissed me I felt my feet leave the floor and I was whisked off to some new world where unicorns and pixies existed and pink fluffy clouds swooped round us like blankets. WOW! I loved it he moved good he kissed good there had to be a floor and here it came in the way of Married. He was married but divorcing (ok good can cope with that) but he had a 3 year old daughter (Aghhhhhh), but he added that he had to say because his family came first and before he fell in love with me too much I had to decide if this was going to work as he had responsibilities. (Wow honest as well).

The group I was in was leaving and I had to go. he asked if we could swop numbers, I agreed whilst still in never never land but truth be told I didn’t think the number he gave me was correct anyway. But here’s to hoping.

Yep you got it right he called 2 days later. It was a Sunday and I was getting ready to go out with a mate. When he called, we spoke for hours even about the daughter. I wasn’t ready to be his baby’s mama. No fluffing way. I had just turned 20 and was going to make every minute work and be enjoyable, not with a kid. After a gentle reminder of my friend turning up we agreed to meet up for an official date. Movie, great idea, at least we had something to talk about, though that hasn’t been a problem so far. The night came and I couldn’t remember what he looked like.... How Dum am I.....don’t say a word.... I saw this guy standing outside the pub looking around for someone, when our eyes met, we knew.... We walked and talked and agreed to watch “Something about Mary”. Way cool movie, I did work out one thing that his hands did like to wander. But I kept on telling myself that I was going to be a Good Girl and keep my clothes on this time...... ;-) after the film had finished we went back to the bar and watched the live stand up and had a couple of drinks. We left the pub and I offered to drive him home and that’s when I was offered the universal "Wana Come In For Coffee". Yep I went. But he did actually mean Coffee. His flat was small but very tidy including the loo!!. We was watching something (I can’t remember) on the telly and I said that I would have to leave as I had work the following morning, as did he. So at the door we kissed, I was back there again, wow! Things got very heated very quickly and one thing lead to another my promise to myself didn’t hold much water. Just for the record. I am no slut but there was certainly something different about this man. And Oh My God!! I have never experienced such a rush of passion and emence feeling as I did with him that night.



I will continue another day....

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